I am going through an experiment suggested by my therapist, and it is mind blowing. I am trying to recognize every feeling I am going through.
First I think I should explain about the reason of this experiment , well I am epileptic, and this disease can vary from one person to another, and mine is called NES which means “Non Epileptic Seizures” which I find hilarious as the name seems that I am faking it for the last 34 years of my life.
However, after many years of suffering and not understanding what I was going through, there was a light in the end of the tunnel and I had an alternative explanation. I started seeing a therapist who believes that my seizures are the cause of the lack of understanding my feelings.
I am known to be a very happy person which is a great thing I believe, but I don’t know how to react to the other side of my feelings. My brain has been wired to recognize mainly the happy emotions, and of course life doesn’t work like that and when the down moments occur I shut down and have a fit.
So through my therapy I am learning how to recognize my feelings positive and negative, which is challenging as I had no idea for the last 34 years what is anxiety, sadness or simply just having a bad day .
Now I am learning to recognize all my feelings, and learning how to not fight them but just let them be instead. So in any bad day I am saying to myself I am not feeling good but it is OK, I will let it pass and try to understand it instead of questioning or fight it. and I am proud to say through this therapy I have not had a seizure for the last year and half and I have learned a lot about recognizing my emotions.